Last Thursday’s readingr 10.3.2024
Coventry Library Cleveland Heights OH
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I sit in silence that is not silence
there’s a wavering hiss of tire on concrete
the far siren singing
clock ticks
unknown people in unknown places
murmuring unknown words in unknown song
baby dinosaur chirps from tree
unseen dog barks territory
more cars hiss wind and water
squirrel chitters
wind chimes
rooster crows for sun every eleven seconds
when it’s been up for hours
in rhythmic return of almost nothing
unsilent dance
moves here
moves there
a veil over its fate
I listen
~ ~ ~
The Sisyphus Effect
I tried to tell her
don’t get up
stay in bed
it’s a scam
another reality trick
they get you every time
first you wake up
then you sit up
step out of bed
and whammo
they got you
again
they make you do stuff
be things
go places
eat
defecate
take
fake
I told her
tried to warn her
but no
she’s up
doing yoga
making coffee
petting the cat
listening to Willie Nelson
caught again in the web of want
old debt new due
one more early worm demanding bird
~ ~ ~
Rant and Roll
Gimme that TV I.V.
for vain in vein insane
gimme booze, sex, gambling
highline fashion
low blows
gimme local lobotomy
drill my lobal monstrosities
gimme gone
gimme go
gimme fast cars in red glow
neon no ones run low
jazz jumped slow
gimme want and went and wan
night in sight of sun
anything to numb
this shit world dumb
to doom due profits sons
in never pure
ever slippin’ strip stream whirl
gimme never when
back then
Zen
but get me gone
I don’t belong
nor do
you
~ ~ ~
Zen Box
Kneeling on the floor
before the cat box
removing clayed clumps of piss
and dried shit
then smoothing the surface
I realize this is my Zen sand garden
the urine my sins against others
the shit my sins against myself
the baking soda confession and forgiveness
for past’s smell
so I start new day new
clean
free
knowing I’ll be on my knees again tomorrow
for same old shit
~ ~ ~
I take what sun I get
I give what cheer I got
life goes on
I got coffee
I got me
I got wife in kissing tree
the road not taken
I been taken
repeatedly
There’s lies below
more lies above
helping push of shaping glove
you got your gods
you got your not nods
you still have to pay the rent
Sitting in a parking lot
watching a man sitting in a car
driver door open
scratching betting cards
looking for money
finding little or none
doing it again
and again
going in coming out
more cards
grim face
doing it over an hour now
in for cards
out with cards
sad silence
I wish him well
must be serious to keep the prayer going
My god’s not meat
my god is the all of nothing
the knot of now
Never pray to meat
it rots
Where’s this edge?
You get to it and there’s another
there’s always another
another up or down
in or out
and they all want rent
If not rent, respect
which is psychic rent
Here in workaway world
stress runs the mess
gets the killing done
fills the pantry
cooks the kitchen
preys on land run wrong
Stop and smell the roses
before they rot
and fall to the ground
They’re beautiful either way
~ ~ ~
Grease Your Grill
I’m an oven cleaner baby
Come to scrub your grill
Yes this oven loving man
Mean to steam your grill
Get the heat back baby
Flame and fire the thrill
I’ll rub your rust off lady
Get your grid to shine
Rid this mood of maybe baby
Lady let me lick your lime
Make much meat that might be
Moistened by munching lightly
Juicy, prime
Gonna grease your grill
Put the heat back baby
Then, send you the bill
~ ~ ~
A Crooked Man
There was a crooked man
not politician or banker
nor CEO or priest or moral shanker
(though all fine crooks in each their way)
but a simple guy with crooked sight
who thought fair meant fair
and right meant right
no matter how rich or big or tall
the same truths applied to all
if A were rule for man with penny
A must abide for man with many
if B is wrong for one with naught
it’s just as wrong for one with lots
as poor pay tax and serve and fight
so should rich add their might
and give to keep this going going
this very world they seem to be whoring
using lawyers politicians guns and money
not to mention TV and honey
to dull our minds to take our score
demanding we must pay far more
so wealth in growth can glow galore
they say less more than we deserve
think we’d be happy we’re not tempted
by all they buy with money exempted
and they’re probably right
in Zen light
for stuff is trouble
stuff takes space
stuff grows like fungus in dark dank place
stuff needs storage stuff needs safe
stuff sucks storer stuff takes place
stuff becomes bad bit breath
stuff stiffs stuff
stuff self-smit
so bet on tortoise
forget the hare
stuff is rigor mortis
stufflessness free air
winning is failing
failing success
oh the meek shall inherit
one hell of a mess
~ ~ ~
Dear Occupants, Accidents & Occidentals
Just yesterday it was yesterday
Now it’s already today
Confuse not mercy with weakness
Confuse weakness not with an upset liver
And confuse not an upset liver with love
It is the shape of the silence
Which defines the sound
Like winter rubbing against summer
Each refines the other
Only certain curtains can be drawn
The rest must be endured
The souring sermons
The centered self serving
The lion den Christians in Coliseum stands
Twixt ape and angel wandering
Torn between the knowledge
And the need
Do I worship the moon or sun
Or yet the blooded one?
I bloat and smell
Decay in age
The focus runs
~ ~ ~
Old dog wants
but doesn’t know what
so stands in existential angst
glancing at door
at kitchen
at me
I am an old man with an old dog
I don’t know either
~ ~ ~
Like the cicada
I sing my song
leave a husk
~ ~ ~
A little danger on the weekends
a little discipline for the workdays
Rounding underpass darkness
of Dead Man’s Curve dead car debris
into sudden full Cleveland sun
clouds jumbled majestically
wind temple turbines turning
bad coffee good grass
a long way to go
and right good to be going
Hey brother, can you spare a dead sparrow?
I’ve got an Armageddon to enforce
~ ~ ~
O yes
Mind monsters
cranium creatures
environmental viruses
survival of the fittest
sing hallelujah
ever onward in sorry sojourn
I dance between the shadows
suck what sun I can
watch women walk the harder path
Wife says she’s “the Zen in resentful”
while I keep pushing OFF buttons
in this ever-ON world
O let us pray
may the bad be better
and the good remain
~ ~ ~
Marriage Proposal
December of 68 I was lying on LSD on my bed downtown Baltimore.
Walls, floor, ceiling, doors all painted flat black.
Metallic mobiles and assorted assemblages hung from the ceiling
turning at will in low green and blue light.
My future wife walked in and sat so she could see me in the mirror.
So and so just got married she said.
That’s nice.
Silence.
Watch her reflection watching me.
So and somebody else also married.
More silence.
Watch her reflection evaluate my reflection’s reflection.
Even through the LSD I could see she wasn’t talking what she was saying
so asked.
I just want to know what’s going to happen she screams
stalking into the living room.
I lie there amid my hallucinations and resentfully realize
I’m too weak not to marry her.
Another’s strong needs always overrode my indifferent apprenticeship.
20 minutes later she skulks back to the bedroom.
OK I snap.
OK what? she snaps back.
We’ll get married.
When?
Six months I finalize
feeling sure the artist within will wither once reduced to marriage,
suburban boxes, the upperclass hypocrisy rampant in her family and friends.
We had a rich wedding in a high Episcopal-cum-Catholic cathedral.
Reception held of course at the country club.
None of my freak friends came.
The day of the wedding
I put all the trash left from moving in the middle of the floor
smoked the last of my grass
took off all my clothes
and slowly danced naked about the trash
sprinkling it with my box of monosodium glutamate
and chanting unknown chants of sorrow
~ ~ ~